sunshine after the rain

This may seem odd but I just had a rather nice conversation with my ex earlier. We had some catching up. It's been a week since we've last spoken with each other, and during our last conversation we had a bit of misunderstanding that led to a quarrel. Honestly, I wasn't really up for a conversation with her. I guess during those moments I was still bitter about our break-up - it being a very very bad one - four days after my birthday, six months ago. She was my first, and I've always wanted a "first, last, and only one." Unfortunately sh*t happens. It was all great while it lasted. I couldn't deny the fact that it really was. But now, I guess I could say that I'm over it. I'm not feeling any resentment towards her, or anything negative. I'm glad it's over, but I'm not that we are. I really hate break-ups, especially now that it happened to me. I wonder how our parents have managed to pull off that "first, last, and only one" thing. I thought I could pull it off too. I should've listened to Mama back then, but what I had then made my life a little more happier.

Recently, I've been having certain feelings for a friend of mine although I don't want to rush things yet. I don't want something wrong to happen that would ruin our friendship. I really like her, but no intense feelings yet. I guess I gave a little too much in my last relationship to the point that I couldn't love another the way I did with her. It'll probably take a long time to get back up and love again. But at least there's someone who still keeps my heart beating. :)

growing old is mandatory. growing up is optional.

Just another random title. Catchy, I should say.

I've got an exam tomorrow and I really haven't studied yet. This is the last exam for our Human Physiology class and that means this is the one exam that will weigh it all. If i fail, I'm doomed. If I pass, hooray for me! To be honest, I'm not really liking what's happening right now. I have neglected my studies for a whole weekend. I can't say that I have failed yet. So I think it's best to get to work right after I finish this post.

Sometimes I wonder if it's alright to give up some things for those things that make me happy or things that I enjoy, say, like what I did over the weekend. I went tree-planting and had this outdoor skills review. It was great and a better experience than before. Maybe because there were more people and it was wilder than I expected.But I'm not saying I didn't like the first time I did this.

I'll shed some more light on this when I'm done with my exams. For now, it's study time for me.

bawk bawk boom!

I wonder why Google AdSense couldn't accept my application. According to the email I got from them, my site has "unacceptable site content." Okay, so I wish they would point out where that unacceptable content is. I've already made a mistake before by indirectly asking people to click on the ads. I changed that already and resubmitted my application. Still, they sent me the same email. Odd, I should say. I couldn't see any unacceptable site content, based on their standards, around here. So I removed the Adsense widget. Hopefully, when I set it up again, they would have the sense to accept my application. Excuse the horrible pun.

In another story... I've been having this "I'm scared to tell the girl I like how I feel" issue. When she's around, or we're hanging out, it still feels normal - no awkward situations or whatever. I just act normally, as if she's not very special. But, she means a lot to me. We've been friends since high school, and I don't want a simple "I like you" affect a very good relationship. There are many ways she could react to that dreaded phrase. In my mind, it's all in a haze. Anything could happen. That's why I chicken out a lot. There have already been many chances of telling her, but I don't even know if it's the right time yet, let alone how I should tell it to her. In all honesty, it's really easy to say, "I like you." But this is something different, something deeper. This is all crazy. I'm going mad!

I'm already going gaga over this matter. I'll let my mind rest for a while.

swimming. sleep. party. what's next?

[The following takes place on September 4-5, 2010]

The funny thing about waking up is when I actually tell myself to get up and kill my alarm. When I do, hooray for me!, but there are times when I go back to sleep telling myself only 5 more minutes only to wake up after 30 minutes. Yeah, this happens most of the time. Why does it feel great to sleep so long being curled up in a cozy bed? Even so when the sky is dark, it's raining hard, but it's already late morning. Did I mention anything about being curled up in a cozy bed?

I had a swimming competition to attend to that morning. I wasn't very much excited about it because it wasn't that big an event. Although it would be a great way to challenge myself to beat my records.

On the way to the place where the event was going to be held I saw Levi and Marnel, both were on their bikes. Levi was coming out of UP, going to CP Garcia, and Marnel was on the road going to Marikina. It made me rather envious because I want to have my own bike, a racer, although I couldn't afford one because I'm still studying. According to mama, I need to focus on my studies first before I could get a job, even if it's just part-time - I could work during the summer, but not during regular semesters. So until then, I wouldn't be able to generate extra income. There are other means like irregular part time jobs (officiating in races, competitions, etc.), and simply asking for it.

Anyway, back to the swimming competition. The water was freezing cold; it's as if it came straight out of the fridge. It's one very good reason why a swimmer should keep going during warm-up. Events kept coming, and when it was time for my first event, which was the 50m butterfly, there was this nervousness that crept inside my head. I thought this was supposed to be for fun, but why am I feeling this way? What the hell. I plunged into the freezing water and swam like a constipated whale. Kidding. It's a funny thought that I don't really have a record on the 50m butterfly. But since our team needed to give our times on our events, they gave my 50m butterfly a 39.41. For the rest of the events that came, it was no big deal already. The 50m backstroke was great even though i was rather slow. I was looking up at a blue sky. For a while I guess I was distracted. The water was cool, the sky was so blue - it was an awesome feeling. The most awesome feeling above all awesome feelings I was experiencing was when I beat my personal record in the 50m breaststroke. And lastly, the 50m freestyle - i beat my PR on that one too. Here are the times:

• 50m butterfly: 39.31
• 50m backstroke: 44.something
• 50m breaststroke: 36.15 (my old PR was 38.21)
• 50m freestyle: 32.69 (my old PR was 33.12)

Turned out to be a good swimming competition :)

When I got home I immediately fell asleep as I crashed into my bed. It felt good to be back in bed after a groggy and tiresome morning. By the time I woke up it was already almost 7 in the evening.

You know what I like about parties? It's alright to be an hour late, or more, and nobody cares! I was partying all night with my friends. It was the wildest moshing I've ever done in my life. Now I know how it feels how to mosh that wild, and I understand why a lot of people do it. Oh the adrenaline! \m/ And another thing I like about these parties: once someone gets drunk, it's a comedy show. But of course this party in particular is better than any other party - it's because of the people. Looking forward to another one.

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This is my nth blog. I can't remember how many blogs I've made before but i think it's safe to say that i won't make any more new ones. I'll be deleting the old ones later because i don't think my followers still read them.

Life has been very fine and dandy recently. There are still some speed bumps along the way, but nevertheless so far so good. Honestly, I don't have any thoughts right now to put here. I just wanted to make my first post just for the sake of having it, hahaha! Don't worry, dear reader, I have lots and lots of things to say when I'm in the mood to pour them all out. Now is just not the time for it.

It's already getting late and I need my good night's rest because I still have a swimming competition to attend to tomorrow. Wish me luck! :)