[Yes, as you may have well guessed my dear reader, I am at Chockiss again making this entry.]
Yesterday was a day of sorts. Well, not really. Maybe a little bit. It was like any other day: I wake up, drink that isotonic solution my mother makes me drink, get ready for school, sit my ass off for two hours and a half, and the rest of the day was mine to waste.
We had to photocopy 44 pages from a book we were supposed to read. While waiting for the copying to finish, we had lunch at a different college. The food at their cafeteria sucked. I have no other way to put it mildly because that’s how it was. My fish fillet tasted like pancit canton (the instant noodles type) sauce, only a bit off. Their daing na bangus (fried marinated milkfish) was too salty. Enough ranting; it was still food, and I have to be thankful for that. I went home after that to put my things down.
After quite some time at home, I went out again to meet with my friends at this restobar, Kyusinero, along Matalino St. Usually a bucket of six beers would range from 250-350 pesos, but their bucket of beer was for only 216 pesos and it even came with two extra beers. It was a steal. There were only two of us at that time, and my friend opened a conversation regarding our group’s issues with our friend, who I happen to consider a best buddy. I also had issues with the guy, and quite frankly, they weren’t nice things, nor were they nasty. Still, they were issues with him. Another friend arrived and the conversation continued. During that conversation, it was bewildering that a friend who was so close to me was also a person with whom I had a lot of issues with. Not just me, but other people as well. And I agree with them.
Also at that moment, I was having a text message conversation with A, with whom I would meet some time around 5pm. And as I recall the events that have happened yesterday, I also remember the conversation we had about two nights ago. I told her that I felt that I wasn’t falling for her anymore. Considering the fact that she doesn’t want me to, I just openly said it with the warning forehand that I couldn’t put it in any other way. After that, our chat conversation was a bit rocky.
Going back to yesterday… A fetched me at around 5pm. I had to leave my friends just to be with her. We went to a certain parking lot at school since it was a bit private during the late afternoon, only to find out when we arrived that it was riddled with a lot of people walking around near their cars. We were just talking about the previous conversation mentioned above. What was supposed to be a happy meeting turned into a symphony of drama. Eventually, we got over it and things turned lighter. I began being very sweet and tender, but it probably looked like I was physically flirting with her. I knew she was enjoying every moment of it, and so was I. And what was supposed to be some tender caressing became a sensual kissing.
Nothing much happened; just that. I didn’t feel anything, except that it was a bit senseless but it felt nice to kiss someone again even though I know or feel that I’m kissing someone without feelings of love for me. I just hope that after a few months I won’t go looking for it again. Kissing people just for the fun of it, I mean. Right before we parted for our respective friends, we talked a lot. I suddenly felt that superman complex, and thought that maybe nobody else would treat her more than the way I do. She’s three years older than me, and I guess age appropriation(?) is the only thing that’s stopping us. I don’t know. I’m but a young fool still learning the ways of life.
Anyway, when I got back to my friends they were already finishing their last bottles of beer. It was around 7 or 8pm. We still had a few interestingly humorous conversations before we went to Kowloon house for light meals. I love being with my friends at this time of night because we get to talk a lot more about serious things compared to what we usually talk about early, or late in the day before nightfall. Then I went home.
